1. |
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According to far away sources, she had a nice bag but it wasn’t clear what brand it was.
According to close sources, the bag was Chanel.
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2. |
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Kanye West killed in mass shooting at movie theatre.
Kim Kardashian found dead in Paris.
Katie Holmes and Siri killed during school shooting.
Sasha and Malia kidnapped by Iran.
Lupita Nyong’o killed in apartment complex bombing.
Drake and his mother killed during drive by shooting in Toronto.
Amy Winehouse found dead of alcohol poisoning.
Mila Kunis killed during kidnapping attempt gone wrong.
Beyoncé dies in suicide bombing while shooting music video on public transportation in Israel.
James Cameron killed in marathon bombing.
Leonardo DiCaprio found dead in hotel room. Sleeping pills nearby.
Taylor Swift in hospital from abortion complications.
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3. |
Text to Speech Sources
00:19
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Sources say she was pregnant.
Sources say they are not friends but only pretend to be best friends in public.
Sources say she was dead.
Sources say she was moving and walking but not talking.
Sources say she was stoned but trying to hide it from sources.
Sources say she told sources that she would kill herself.
Sources say Beyoncé is a man.
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4. |
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Rihanna missing. Rihanna was officially declared missing after she did not post on social media for over 12 hours.
Rihanna found. Police have found what they believe to be Rihanna’s teeth and part of her jawbone at a private residence in Brooklyn, where she was last seen partying.
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5. |
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Breaking News: Kate injured in car crash after drunk driver wrecks car in Paris.
Breaking News: Kate has died from injuries.
Excerpted from: Wikipedia article on Princess Diana's death.
What really happened?
It was found after the driver's death that he was in possession of a large sum of money on his person and had a large personal fortune that far surpassed his expected income held in fifteen separate bank accounts. It was alleged this could only have been as a result of payment from an illicit source, supposedly a national health service.
A large quantity of cash would need to be on hand to perform errands at short notice as wealthy people are known to often not carry cash.
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6. |
||||
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Paparazzi followed Rihanna to JFK airport, where she entered but did not exit until three weeks later.
Paparazzi followed Kim Kardashian to Paris, where she probably shoplifted.
|
||||
7. |
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Paparazzi followed Kanye West to the car.
Paparazzi followed Kim Kardashian to the car.
Paparazzi followed Katie Holmes to the car.
Paparazzi followed Kourtney Kardashian to the car.
Paparazzi followed Miley Cyrus to the car.
Paparazzi followed Kendall Jenner to the car.
|
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8. |
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Excerpted from: Youtube comment on video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNPSrMyxpcA
"Cake and sum Roses please" said:
I really just want Scott to leave Kourtney, So he can be happy and heal. I don’t care how many kids they have together. Kourtney is not willing to be a good partner to him. I swear if I hear Kourtney use that "It's called being hormonal" bullshit pregnancy excuse again, I'm gonna scream. She’s not a good girlfriend when she’s not pregnant and she’s worse when she is. It's time to let go.
|
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9. |
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Excerpted from: Youtube Superbowl 2015 Commercials.
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||||
American Dialogues Cambridge, Massachusetts
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